I sat in the lofted bunk, my stomach in knots. I feel more nervous about this than taking my NCLEX, I thought to myself as I anxiously checked my phone compulsively, waiting for the screen to say 4:00pm.
I am wrapping up my first week of FOCUS training in Ave, and I can honestly say that it was been a wild adventure already. Today we were FINALLY told where we would be placed in the fall and who our teammates were going to be. I don’t know how many times I told people that I had no clue where I was going, and that I could be anywhere. And now, I finally know! (Thank goodness it’s not middle of nowhere Wisconsin, lol)
God has been pouring out his grace and love in abundance. So much that I feel like I am in a dream and have to ask myself if this is real. If this is really my job?! AND HOW AMAZING IT IS TO BE HERE AND TO DO THIS. My new prayer as of late has been, Jesus thank you for this moment. Because it’s so easy to get caught up in the vision of the future, and race ahead for all of the exciting things to come, while failing to see the goodness right in front of you. And there is so much goodness, I feel overwhelmed.
In the morning I take classes centered on the week’s topic, which happens to be Human Formation. So much truth is being poured into my heart that I feel as if I won’t be able to digest it all, but I stop to trust and know that God loves the journey. And He is walking with me every single moment of every day, gazing on me with the love of a good, good Father.
I was the first one to be handed my card containing the contents of my future, and I raced upstairs to open it in the chapel on the fourth floor of my dorm. I kneeled down, my heart pounding within me, my breath audibly filled with nervous tension as I attempted to slow everything down before tearing it open. I looked up at the tabernacle and slowly whispered, Jesus I trust in you. And then I started laughing.
One of my best friends Emily, who also happens to be my discipler, found out that she would be moved to the campus at Bowling Green, Ohio. She had mentioned that it was near Toledo, to which I replied, “like Canada, Toledo?” and then felt super ignorant when I found out that it was in Ohio…
Little did I know that I had just mentioned the campus that will soon be my future home for the next year! Isn’t God’s sense of humor the best?
He has been providing for me in the most tender of ways, and I am constantly amazed and in awe of the way He loves.
Sitting in the pew at Mass after reveal, my heart was filled with a divine sense of peace. Sitting next to me where my new teammates, and I was overcome by a sense of utter and complete love for them, for my future campus, and for the students that the Lord will lead me to. Although it wasn’t exactly what I was picturing or expecting, I know and trust that it is exactly where God wants me to be, and that He is giving me exactly what I need.
Please keep me, my new team, and all of the Focus missionaries across the US in your prayers as we strive for holiness, love of God, and love of neighbor. And please feel free to shoot me any intentions or request and let me know how I can be praying for YOU! 🙂