Since my sleeping schedule is completely crazy due to Christmas break, I figured, why not go ahead and write a blog post? I can’t believe I was getting up around 6 am (for fun) this whole semester and here I am wide awake and it’s about to be 2:30AM…. if anyone knows how to fix this please send help.
As I was laying in bed tossing and turning, first convinced that if I was lying on my right side I’d get sleepy and then trying my luck on the left side to no avail, I started mentally reviewing my year. I began to ask myself all sorts of questions; What was the best part of my year? What was the worst? Who had the greatest impact on me? Who did I have the greatest impact on? What was the biggest lesson I learned? Favorite memory I made? What do I wish I could have prevented? Forgotten? Relived?
So I decided to write a letter to the almost departed 2017.
You were a year of firsts. My first apartment, my first heartbreak, my first realization of how completely inadequate I am at so many things. Thank you for my precious second goddaughter. For her innocence and her ability to love me so well, even at such a young age. Thank you for the pitfalls. For making me realize that sometimes the best medicine is a good cry, a hot shower, and a long sleep. Thank you for the many memories made in la casita. For all the random pala-pala-light dance parties, for the laughs that turned into tears and the tears that turned into laughter. For the heart to hearts shared on our magical couches (even if we do have 10,000 pillows).
Thank you for friendships gained and friendships lost. Thank you for giving me my sissy. For getting the chance to travel; the truly heart changing experience of Honduras, the beautiful summer treck through Italy (and the realization that most Americans dress like potatoes in comparison and that I needed to step up my fashion game). For stretching the boundaries of my comfort zone once more (and letting me make a complete idiot out of myself in front of the whole student body by getting hypnotized) For showing me that people who truly care will make an effort to reach out, no matter how long it’s been or how inconvenient it is. And that some things you are just better off not knowing.
For giving me the chance to be a maid of honor for the first time! Thank you for showing me that Love Does. And that Bob Goff is as whimsy and wonderful in person as he is on paper. Thank you for the incredible gift of my hermanita, and how she kept me sane after the messiest part of my year. Thank you 2017 for showing me that I epically fail at making tiramisu, that pesto is good on everything, that C.S. Lewis is now a part of my favorite authors, that I am a strange mix of a Catholic psuedohipster with hints of ethnic/50s vintage flair.
For teaching me that I cannot rely on my brains to get me through nursing school, and that I am not as smart as I thought I was (I definitely peaked in high school). For my first clinical experience that made me feel broken, defeated, and questioning why pain and suffering have to be a part of this world. For bringing me closer to my nursing class, and getting to watch what an awesome kick-ass group of nurses we are going to become in just 6 short months (pardon my French but these people deserve to be called kickass!! they are gonna be wiping butts and taking names in 2018).
Thank you 2017 for showing me that my communication skills severely need work. But that I have friends and family who are willing to love me through my mess-ups and pick me back up along this journey. For showing me what it means to be vulnerable, even if I did over-do it a lot at times. That I only have like 2 signature dance moves and that they are not that impressive (looking to add some new moves to my repertoire; will take suggestions) that I’m glad I gave praise and worship music a chance, and surprisingly love to sing for Adoration. For my first experience with theft and that the world can be a mean place sometimes (thanks for leaving me my beats tho!!) for the strange but delightful tres mosqueteros phase, for my sweet bible study girls and how I got to grow close to them. For my awesome missionary friends who showed me that loving Jesus means temporarily putting your own plans aside and letting Him fill you with more goodness than you could have ever asked for (and that I get to join in on the fun this summer!)
2017, you wrecked my heart, my love life, my life plans, and my world. Parts of me will miss you, but I think we had a good run.
2018, I have high hopes for you & I think you’re gonna be delightful!
Wishing you all a Happy New Year!