Is getting more emotional a part of getting older, or am I just in a permanent state of being in the feels?
Today we went to a wedding and, of course, cue the flood of emotions. First came the wave of all the oooing and awwe-ing over the bride because she was stunning. My sweet little god daughter (who seems to be glued to my hip — no personal space with her. Ever.) made the most innocent comments which brought me back to simpler times when I thought that marriage was a fairy tale.
I still have such a deep respect for marriage and it holds such a high place in my heart– something that I profoundly desire. And I still view it as a sacred commitment and so beautiful, but now I know that life is messy, and marriage is hard. Hahaha, disclaimer — not that I’ve been married but from my wee bit of life experience, I’ve learned through osmosis that it is a continual choice of that person, everyday, through the good, the bad, and the ugly and that we as humans, well let’s face it, sometimes we are not the best choice-makers.
Sitting there in the pew, watching them go through all the elaborate symbolism that is a Mexican Catholic wedding I felt a little flutter of hope stir in my heart. (I also tried so hard to contain my laughter when halfway through the ceremony I realized that my dress was on backwards.) For a moment I felt a childish naivety that maybe even for a day, you can choose to live in a fairy tale. But that that’s not what maintains a marriage, or our stats on tying the knot would be significantly higher. So what does?
Asking myself that question makes me think of a time I was taking care of an elderly male patient. His wife was in the room with him and he commented on the fact that they had been married for 50 years. “What’s the secret?” I asked. He chuckled, flashed his wife a quick smirk, and replied, “Yes ma’am.” (Take note fellas)
Joking aside though, what really makes it last ’till death do you part? My parents have set a extraordinary example for me (and if I never find a man as good as my dad, it’s just not happening) but what I’ve gleaned from them is that what maintains a marriage is a deep love for Christ — to be truly invested in treating your significant other like your own body. To love selflessly. And how amazingly beautiful to find that in another person and choose to live that out together *sqeals, sighs and all of the above.
Also side note, the fact that the wedding was held near an hacienda made my inner history nerd geeeeeek out. As I circled the inside of the courtyard I pictured what life would have been like — “would these walls have seemed oppressive to me as woman? Would I only be let out to go to church? Would the hacienda be bustling with servants? Would some handsome caballero bring me serenata?” *swoons
So yeah, I still think as scary as marriage can sound — choosing 1 person for the rest of your life (no pressure) — it’s the most breathtaking thing I can think of. And God willing, maybe one day I’ll get to have my own Big Fat Mexican Wedding (minus the uncle who swears by Windex… in this case it’d be an aunt who’s staple is Vick’s Vapor Rub.)