Warning: This is going to be a pretty Catholic post so if this is not your cup of tea I will not be offended.
But for those of you who don’t mind to keep reading, welcome to my insomnia post. Let me share my heart with ya’.
Update: snacking on chocolate covered coffee beans before bed was not the smartest idea (note taken). As much as I tried to make myself go to sleep, it just wasn’t happening so I thought, “might as well blog about what’s going on inside your brain. Maybe then it’ll get sleepy.” So I’m gonna give it a shot.
As I was reflecting on how diffent my life looks now, I kept thinking, “wow, my religion is so full of beauty.” I began to feel a surge of pride in belonging to it. I feel like everything at this point is captivating me so much because I’m seeing it through a new perspective. I started reminiscing on my recent trip to Rome (my favorite city in the whole wide world) and how after climbing the Spanish Steps, I walked into the church at the top. First off, that smell of inscense. It smells like home to me.
I sat down on the wooden pew and starting to hear singing in French. I had no idea what they were saying but wowowowow. I was suddenly struck with a deep admiration for the universality of my faith. I kept getting struck by this feeling the whole time I was abroad. I would pop into random churches and pray a rosary or attend a mass. And although it was Italian (and thanks to my being fluent in Spanish I was able to actually understand a lot of it) I felt such a sense of belonging.
And slowly, I’ve come to find beauty in just about all of it. Everytime I stepped into a cathedral it was like BDNFJFJRIEOTLWOEKF <- visual representation of how my heart was feeling. And not just the churches but the veiling, the cute little nuns, the priests. The fact that someone can dedicate themselves so fully to God in such a profound way. I have such a deep respect for that. AND THE SAINTS. Ugh I don’t know why I never looked to them: Saint Faustina, Saint Terese, St. Padre Pio. I could go on and on (I know you really don’t want me to though so I’ll stop there buuuut I have plenty more favs if you really wanna know).
So I guess this post is really just to gush about reasons why I love my faith. Maybe I should have called this blog post Catholic-Fan Girling: What Keeps Izel Up At Night. I don’t know why I never realized how amazing it is. I mean what other religion has produced such impactful people, people who literally change the world and write such profound and ahhhhhmayzing literature!? (And I’m sure there is other religions that do, but just let me have my moment okay). (Also our pope is pretty cool and he says some pretty amazing stuff).
And I guess right now I’m just finding a lot of peace and comfort in it, so it occupies my thoughts a lot (a lot a lot). Call it obsession, fanaticism, or whatever you may. But I never realized how much of a way of life it is! It’s awesome and I’m having an awesome time discovering it and life is just awesome (and I think the sleep depravity is finally setting in). So yeah. Being catholic is pretty rad. Even though there’s a lot of things I don’t have my mind quite wrapped around. Faith is a journey, and we aren’t supposed to be an expert on every single thing in one day. But hey that’s another beautiful thing: that we have so much resources to keep on growing in knowledge. Because here’s the cool thing: WE ARE ALL CALLED TO BE SAINTS. And I think that’s pretty frickin cool. (Also my new life’s goal is to be like Mother Teresa and that’s also pretty rad because she was rad(ical).